Tag Archives: boundaries

Jesus built tables?

Tonight, as we gathered around a big table, sharing pizza and conversation at our regular pub night, I wondered again how many tables Jesus built in his life. Now I know, it’s never stated explicitly in the Gospel stories that Jesus was a carpenter. We assume so because most kids followed in the footsteps of their parents when choosing a line of work. If Joseph was a carpenter, Jesus at least had some experience and skills by helping his father for a good chunk of his life.

However, even if we talk in a more metaphorical and not literal sense, we recognize that Jesus was all about tables.

Eating with sinners. Engaging in dialogue in public and private places. Celebrating the holy feasts of his tradition.

Tables were a tool for his ministry, a way to share his message, a place to connect with others and extend God’s word of love and redemption.

To be more blunt about it, borrowing the words of a genius Latino pastor who spoke at a General Assembly a few years back (as told by my friend and regional minister of the Rocky Mountain region, Jose Morales), “Our Lord didn’t build walls – our Lord built tables.”

Our little community, the Table, is all about this idea. When we gather around God’s table, we recognize Christ’s presence with us and the boundaries between us becoming a little thinner. Sure, they may remain for quite a long time – boundaries of class, race, culture, finances, and education. But it is something mysterious and beautiful when, as we share the bread and the cup, we are drawn closer together by God’s doing, not by our own. It’s healing – it’s reminding us that, even though we are different, we are one. In that moment, we know that there is a little less brokenness and fragmentation in the world.

The world needs a little more unity right now.

May we all have the courage to follow after Christ, tearing down walls and building tables, casting out fear and living into wholeness, one meal at a time.


Modern Family

Modern Family from ABC

Is your family normal?

And really, has there ever been a normal family?

Sitcoms like ABC’s Modern Family represent an emerging trend of tv shows that are beginning to look a little more like our families do – mixed up, bizarre, full of drama, and full of love. Every family has its black sheep, weird uncles, hidden secrets, and long-standing feuds. Every family has its family gatherings that are as heart-warming as they are chaotic. Every family has their someone who has been abandoned or hurt.

I wish it weren’t so – I wish we could find the blueprint to perfect families.

But until then, we have to accept, that as much as we receive love and support from our families, they can also be a major source of imbalance in our lives. One misspoken word, embarrassing story, old grudge, festering hurt, or perceived snub can set off another one of those whirlwinds of chaos in our lives. And this doesn’t even take into account those who have been really abandoned and rejected by their families – for not living up to lofty ideals or because God created them a little bit more uniquely than mom or dad or grandma might have wanted.

You can’t ever really avoid drama in your life. It happens.

But you can learn how to keep it from tipping you off balance – you can learn to say “no”.

One of the first words my 3 year old daughter picked up was no. It’s a powerful word. It began to give her identity apart from her mother and me. She was able to voice her opinion. She was able to begin to claim her power in a small way, even if she had to go to bed or eat her sandwich anyway.

This Sunday, we’re going to explore the power of saying “no” in our own modern families – not necessarily to try to cut ourselves off from them if they are causing us imbalance, heartache, and pain – but to use the word “no” to help put up healthy boundaries in our lives.

And with boundaries, we discover our own identity and power, a gift from God.

I hope this sounds intriguing and helpful to you – come learn more and share in the conversation this Sunday at the Table.


Boundaries – a Quick Review

Boundaries BookBoundaries is a book that my spiritual director happened to offer to me one day, and it has been a valuable resource in prep for this sermon series.

The key to finding a sense of balance in your life is not so much controlling what you have in your life as it is setting boundaries – saying no to some things and saying yes to others.

Dr. Townsend & Dr. Cloud put together a whole series of illustrative examples that resonate with my own life and others I know and then go on to break down and explore the many areas of our lives where our boundaries can be overrun, resulting in stress, negativity, loss of identity, and broken relationships. It’s good stuff, because they also outline steps and strategies to take back control. And they do this with a sense of compassion and understanding that it’s not easy – there is no quick solution. Often, the first step is finding a supportive community that can coach you in making small steps that can improve your workplace, family, and individual life.

It’s not a book of theory, but it is a book grounded in a ton of helpful practices that come out from the experience of those who have studied and journeyed with others who are facing these struggles in their lives.

In my own life, I have often struggled to say no – to my own detriment. I can feel guilty saying no. I can say not the wrong way. Or, I can just be afraid of losing an important relationship. However, as with any practice, the more I do it, the less those feelings arise.

And I end up coming to terms with the fact that I can’t do everything, but what I choose to do (and do well) may be the more powerful thing in the long run.

I recommend the book if you would like to go deeper as we continue in our Balance series.

- Rev. Nathan


The Perfect Job

Do you have the perfect job?

Do you want the perfect job?

We began our journey last Sunday exploring how to find a sense of balance in our lives. Beginning with our work is a pretty accessible area for most folks – we all struggle at times handling stress, relationships with co-workers, and our time.

Finding a perfect job is partly about what it is you are doing – what’s your calling? What are your gifts? Are you in the right top of job for those gifts?

The other part is that dance of juggling your responsibilities and putting up clear boundaries that you give a chance to be the best you can be.

Rev. Deborah answered the question, but there was no clear blueprint or five easy steps to the best job ever. Rather, it’s a tricky, ongoing balancing act with God as our guide. Enjoy the sermon if you didn’t get to hear and post your own thoughts in our comments section below. Where in your work life do you need balance?

“The Perfect Job” – Rev. Deborah Morgan


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