The key to finding a sense of balance in your life is not so much controlling what you have in your life as it is setting boundaries – saying no to some things and saying yes to others.
Dr. Townsend & Dr. Cloud put together a whole series of illustrative examples that resonate with my own life and others I know and then go on to break down and explore the many areas of our lives where our boundaries can be overrun, resulting in stress, negativity, loss of identity, and broken relationships. It’s good stuff, because they also outline steps and strategies to take back control. And they do this with a sense of compassion and understanding that it’s not easy – there is no quick solution. Often, the first step is finding a supportive community that can coach you in making small steps that can improve your workplace, family, and individual life.
It’s not a book of theory, but it is a book grounded in a ton of helpful practices that come out from the experience of those who have studied and journeyed with others who are facing these struggles in their lives.
In my own life, I have often struggled to say no – to my own detriment. I can feel guilty saying no. I can say not the wrong way. Or, I can just be afraid of losing an important relationship. However, as with any practice, the more I do it, the less those feelings arise.
And I end up coming to terms with the fact that I can’t do everything, but what I choose to do (and do well) may be the more powerful thing in the long run.
I recommend the book if you would like to go deeper as we continue in our Balance series.
- Rev. Nathan